Promoting gender acceptance in a new generation
Experts say the two biggest myths about gender are that 1.) it is binary, with the options of boy and girl only and 2.) that gender distinctions are made based on anatomy. In reality, the word “gender” has come to signify a person’s feelings about their sexuality, while “sex” refers to one’s physical anatomy and chromosomes. For most people, gender identity and sex match- there is no tension, and these people are considered cisgender. However for some people these things do not align. They may be completely opposite, as in a boy who was born a girl, or their identity may lie somewhere between male and female, along what is known as the "gender spectrum".
Many terms have emerged to express the disconnect between gender and sex, including gender independent, gender creative, gender expansive, and gender diverse. They all essentially sum up the feeling that the gender “box” of one’s assigned sex need not dictate one’s gender identity and associated behavior. Society rigidly enforces gender stereotypes, with pink things marketed to girls, and blue things to boys. Types of toys also influence gender roles, with kitchen sets and baby dolls marketed to young girls and trucks and tool-kits made for young boys. These rigid social boxes, in which many sit comfortably, may explain the harassment and violence toward those outside of them.
Statistics from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network show that gender expansive individuals experience dramatically higher levels of bullying, assault, depression, drop-out, self-abuse, and drug abuse, with 90% having experienced verbal harassment because of their gender identity and 2/3 feeling unsafe in the school environment. Most teachers are not trained to handle this in the classroom, and most people do not know enough about gender nonconformity to be able to handle or accept it.
In order to raise kids to be accepting of their gender identity and that of others, they must have reinforcement at home or at school (ideally both) that teaches acceptance for gender fluidity and sexuality, just as we teach acceptance of other types of diversity. Words like “transgender” and “gender-queer” can no longer be treated as taboo. And schools are not the only place that education and acceptance is needed- far from it. Almost all public restrooms are labeled “men” and “women”- but what if a person feels uncomfortable using either? In the book “Raising My Rainbow” Lori Duron, the author and mother of a gender-fluid son, describes the torment he endured in trying to use the boy’s bathroom at school, where he knew he belonged despite his pink and purple attire. “He has stopped drinking his juice boxes at lunch. He refuses to drink anything at breakfast. He’ll do anything to not have to use the boys’ bathroom at school. He’ll do anything to avoid having strangers look at his private parts while taking bets as to what they’ll see when they get to see something.” School should be a place where students feel completely safe, therefore gender identity harassment prevention must become a part of preexisting anti-bullying programs used in most schools.
Almost all parents aspire to raise compassionate and well-rounded children, and teaching acceptance of any gender identity (including one’s own) is an vital quality of any caring individual.
For more information on the resources used in this article, visit the following links:
http://www.tolerance.org/gender-spectrum
http://raisingmyrainbow.com/
Statistics from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network show that gender expansive individuals experience dramatically higher levels of bullying, assault, depression, drop-out, self-abuse, and drug abuse, with 90% having experienced verbal harassment because of their gender identity and 2/3 feeling unsafe in the school environment. Most teachers are not trained to handle this in the classroom, and most people do not know enough about gender nonconformity to be able to handle or accept it.
In order to raise kids to be accepting of their gender identity and that of others, they must have reinforcement at home or at school (ideally both) that teaches acceptance for gender fluidity and sexuality, just as we teach acceptance of other types of diversity. Words like “transgender” and “gender-queer” can no longer be treated as taboo. And schools are not the only place that education and acceptance is needed- far from it. Almost all public restrooms are labeled “men” and “women”- but what if a person feels uncomfortable using either? In the book “Raising My Rainbow” Lori Duron, the author and mother of a gender-fluid son, describes the torment he endured in trying to use the boy’s bathroom at school, where he knew he belonged despite his pink and purple attire. “He has stopped drinking his juice boxes at lunch. He refuses to drink anything at breakfast. He’ll do anything to not have to use the boys’ bathroom at school. He’ll do anything to avoid having strangers look at his private parts while taking bets as to what they’ll see when they get to see something.” School should be a place where students feel completely safe, therefore gender identity harassment prevention must become a part of preexisting anti-bullying programs used in most schools.
Almost all parents aspire to raise compassionate and well-rounded children, and teaching acceptance of any gender identity (including one’s own) is an vital quality of any caring individual.
For more information on the resources used in this article, visit the following links:
http://www.tolerance.org/gender-spectrum
http://raisingmyrainbow.com/